Happy Mother's Day You Stink

With less than a week to go before Mother's Day (don't worry, US friends, we celebrate a little earlier in the UK; you haven't missed it!), my inbox is chock-full of suggested gifts to recognise the occasion.

And for good reason—Mother's Day brings in over £1.5 billion in sales in the UK alone, and eager marketing departments are keen to grab their a slice of the action.

Here are two that stood out... for different reasons.

First up, a surprising contender for the Mother's Day crown
​
Wild... a natural-deodorant brand:

I'm not sure Wild have quite thought this one through. I can just about hear the reaction I'd get handing my Mam a deodorant for Mother's Day, and it would cost me a bottle of gin to make up for it.

This approach just comes across as lazy. "Just stick a flowery image and say something about making her feel special."

And I get it—it can be tough to come up with new email ideas and angles to promote your product (it's what people pay me to do, after all!), and recognising key dates through the year is Marketing 101, but you've got to try harder than this.

Now don't get me wrong, Wild is a great product (I use it), but it isn't a great gift unless you are 1000% confident it would be well received. Happy Mother's Day, Mum! FYI, you stink is not going to make her feel special.

It could have worked had they leaned into the inappropriate gift message, with a wry nod to it not going down well, but no.

They could have highlighted why Wild is a better choice than a regular deodorant—again, no. They showcase a few scents and a case that's covered in hearts 🙄.

I really think they should have sat this one out.

Next up is Interflora. With flowers being the go-to gift idea, Interflora are the first choice for many (I'm not including the petrol station last-minute purchasers, here!).

Interflora are almost on the money here. A great image that isn't cliche or saccharine-sweet and an emotive headline.

They've got the date and a decent call to action, but there are two things that don't quite hit home for me.

First, the 'late night phone call.'

Is that a thing? In my mind, the late night phone call is likely to be a friend, not your Mum. How many Mothers are up chatting to their darling daughter until the early hours? Not that many I'd imagine.

I may be wrong here, but what was at first glance, a strong emotional lead misses the mark a little—especially as there are tonnes of other angles they could have gone with. Free baby sitter. Source of advice and support. Always available for a lunch date etc.

But they may have some market research that suggests otherwise!

And secondly, the tiny "Mum will thank you" eyebrow copy above the image. This appears as preiew text in my inbox and, in my opinion, is a terrible choice.

What started off as a way to mam Sunday super special, has now become an exercise of self-interest and highlighting that I'll get thanks out giving flowers.

There are so many other lines that they could have used:

Show her she's loved, or With a spectacular floral tribute, or even their age-old slogan Say it with flowers would be much more in-keeping than this strangely self-congratulatory angle they chose.

Overall, it's not a bad email, just not perfect (and it's certainly preferable to Wild's!)

So there you have it—two Mother's Day emails with neither quite hitting the mark.

Is this *really* the launch I've been waiting for?

One thing about me, is that I love music. Always have, and I've always got music playing in my house.

I know some people can't concentrate or be creative with their tunes on, but it's only a problem for me when I really need to focus—and then I turn to classical or brain.fm, which is weirdly effective.

And on my quest to fill every room with my house with music led me to discover SONOS many years ago.

These WiFi speakers aren't cheap, but they're ideal. They enable different music in different rooms and don't broadcast those annoying Slack notification chirrups throughout the house in the same way bluetooth speakers do.

So when SONOS sends a teaser email abut a new product launch, I sit up and pay attention.

But...

This one missed the mark.

Take a look:

Subject Line:
​The launch you’ve been waiting for

Preview text:

well... gobbledygook:

So the subject line is fairly effective... it teases something is coming and that's enough to get audiophiles to open up... but then they've done nothing about the preview text—just the HTML code from their email.

If you did open it, "Get ready for a new era of sound." is...Ok, but that's it.

Now I've got nothing against teasing new products and bulding excitment... it can be crazy-effective, but how can the good people at SONOS claim I've been waiting for this launch if they give me zero indication what on earth it's going to be for?

Is it Sets? Speakers? Home Theatre? Accessories? Something entirely different?

Then there's the timer—nothing wrong with it in principle, but I first looked at that on Friday when it was a little higher and has been tirelessly counting down since:

There's been nothing since. Radio silence.

Now as an email marketer who often charges by the email, I'll always tell you to send more (and with good reason!!), but here, SONOS are relying on their customers memories to do all the heavy lifting.

You can't maintain excitement for 4 days with zero knowledge of what you're getting excited about.

It's only weridos like me who intend to critique them who would even bother to hunt their email out again.

And then finally, there's that call to action.

Ok, extra points for more intrigue... and maybe a shout out to the classic Fugees' track, but the button takes me to their home page where there is ZERO mention of an impending launch.

Not a jot.

There's zero congruency–only confusion.

Is the hope that customers will click and buy something even knowing there's a mystery new product on the way?

Admittedly, they have no idea what's coming, but even the most savvy shoppers will expect a new era of music to be something of interest, or at least result in their current line being discounted slightly.

This email had so much potential, but unfortunately, missed the mark in a number of areas.

Such as:

1. Use the preview text! It's free real estate!

2. Give me something to go on - speaker? Soundbar? Software? Something else?

3. If you're counting down, send more emails! You could really get a bit of a fever pitch going and get some pre-sold customers chomping at the bit.

4. Relating to that, and fair play to try and sell in this email, but come on...! It's not going to be very effective. Instead, get people to jump on a waitlist, or even get the inside track an hour early or something! and...

5. If you're getting people to click, don't just dump them on the homepage. Have a landing page ready to really tease what's coming! Again, early access, a few mystery pics shrouded in smoke, an interview with some big-wig talking about how ground-breaking this product is.

Come on, SONOS! This is the launch I've been waiting for, after all. Put some effort in!

All being said, I will check out their site in a few hours...

I wonder what it could be?!

Purge the disengaged—but do this first:

If you have an email list, there’s one thing you should be doing regularly.

Scrub it!

Essentially, manually unsubscribe people who haven't engaged in a while.

But as these subscribers have... gone dark... it's worth an attempt to reengage them first. As they're halfway out the door already, you can even afford to be a little more aggressive with email volume, discounts, and even messaging.

You have nothing to lose and may even win back a few folk.

So how do you do it?

Your ESP should enable you to create an audience segment people drop into automatically based on the criteria you've set.

Then you send them through a sequence of emails designed to remind them why they signed up to your list in the first place and encourage them to come back into the fold.

An important point to remember at this stage is that they're not currently opening your emails, so you *really* have to pay attention to those subject lines (and preview text, or snippet, or pre-header—whatever you call them).

There are a few angles you can try (and test) before landing on the most effective.

Curiosity: Purge the disengaged... but do this first! I've heard that one somewhere...

Benefit: 20% OFF for 24 hours only!

Personalisation: [FIRST NAME GOES HERE]! Are you still struggling with this?

And then hit them with the old 1-2 with the preview text:

MORE curiosity: You never know what might happen...

MORE benefit: Grab one of my courses at a bargain price!

MORE personalisation: Don't worry. I can help...

These should perform well but test them over time against other approaches.

Now the eagle-eyed amongst you would have noticed the 20% discount. I'd offer the maximum discount you're comfortable with without making a loss. One sale tends to lead to another, so if you take a hit on the margin, it could be worth it over future sales that you wouldn't have had if they'd dropped off your list and out of your life.

But how many to send?

This is up to you, but I'd say a minimum of 3 and push you to send around 5.

• A reminder of why they signed up

• A discount

• A few success stories from your customers

• Focus on your most popular product and how it helps

• LAST CHANCE - 24 hours before your discount

And if they don't open any of these emails, you can unsubscribe them without a backward glance.

Of course, as open rates are increasingly unreliable, so you could even base their "engagement" on clicking a link in your email.

The strategy is about the same, but you need to "sell the click" and focus on a great subject line.

You can put the discount code on a landing page and ask your reader to click to get it.

You can tell the reader that you noticed they haven't read an email in a while and:

I'd hate to clog your inbox with stuff you don't find useful. If you still want to receive these emails <<click this link>>, I'll keep you on my list.

If you'd rather not hang around, click Unsubscribe below, or I'll take you off my list in a few days—no hard feelings.

Remember, though, this segment of subscribers hasn't been engaging, so don't expect miracles... it's likely most will drop off your list, never to be seen again, but that's a good thing. It will increase your open rates and sender reputation and may even save you some money with your ESP through a smaller list.

But even if it picks up a few sales or re-energises a few list lurkers, it will have done its job.

Made a mistake? Own it.

Mistakes happen. We're only human.

I've had two emails over the last week or so when something has gone wrong and the brand has had to claw back and attempt to save face—with... shall we say, limited... success?

The first one—Premiership Rugby—inadvertently sent their Welcome email out to the full subscriber list. As someone who builds sequences and automations for a living, I'm not quite sure how they did it, but it happened.

No biggy.

Spun well, it's a great opportunity to remind everyone of all the great benefits they get for being subscribed.

They chose not to do that.

Instead, they issue a grovelling apology, reassuring me that my data was safe and thanked me for my continued support as part of their family:

Hi Stuart,

​We would like to offer you our sincere apologies. You may have received in error an email from us which was intended for internal testing purposes only.

Please rest assured that this was an inadvertent mistake. Your privacy is of the utmost importance to us and we would like to assure you that every step will be taken to ensure an error of this kind will not happen again.

If you do have any queries regarding this error, please contact info@premiershiprugby.com and we would be happy to answer your questions.

Again, we apologise for this mistake and any frustration or inconvenience it may have caused. We value your continued support as part of the rugby family.

They may have gotten one or two complaints from a few pearl-clutchers and maybe even one or two unsubscribes. To be honest, the original email had barely registered with me so I hunted it out to see if I'd missed some heinous crime committed. Nope. It was their Welcome email.

It's rare that a brand manufactures their own outrage...

The second was just bizarre. Years ago, signed up for a free trial of Tortoise—a "slow news" app which tells longer read stories of some of the news headlines of the week. Of course, this was before I started my business, and when I had time to indulge in such frippery... not any more!

I unsubscribed by still get emails from them...which is interesting...but I've never bothered to do anything about it.

But the mistake Tortoise made, pailed into insignificence by the missed opportunities of their apology.

They inadvertently sent a paid-subscriber only email to their list—a free sample, you might say.

Did they use it to their advantage? Did they tease their audience and give them an opportunity to subscribe (and PAY THEM MONEY) if they liked what they read? Did they make the most of it and ask what I thought and gather some valuable feedback from people who'd not read this sort of content from them before?

Did they heck.

It started off fine.

"Oops! We're really sorry about that"

That's fine, Tortoise! It happens, don't worry about it!

YOU WON'T RECEIVE IT NEXT WEEK

But....but....what if I want to? Why are you being so mean, Tortoise?!

Why do I feel like I'm being punished?!

Mistakes happen—how you deal with it is what people remember.

In his book, Influence, Robert Cialdini writes of a story a hotel manager told him. A mother wanted to rent some children's tennis racquets at his property, but the only set they had was already being used by another family–it was 4th July weekend, after all.

The member of staff took it upon themselves and went out to a local sports shop and bought two new racquets.

A simple gesture and one that went down incredibly well—the woman booked her extended family into the property over the Thanksgiving weekend because of it—at considerable expense, I'm sure.

If you make a mistake, apologise, and if you can go out of your way to make up for it or if you're clever, use it to your advantage.

Your customers will remember either way...how would you like them to remember you?

The choice is yours.

A great pattern-interrupt by SPOKE

SPOKE, a brand specialising in high-quality and (comparatively high) price points, have an interesting email game.

and:

and even:

But headline puns aside, they pulled a great pattern interrupt out of their pocket over the weekend.

I'll save the plain-text vs design-led debate for another email, but SPOKE aren't afraid of switching things up once in a while.

The image reads:

Hi there,

Hope you're having a cracking Sunday.

A quick non-trousering update from the product team here at SPOKE towers: you can now get £18 off when you buy two Oxford Shirts.

They're available in your pick of 40 sizes and five colours, all cut in a soft, premium stretch cotton. A smart-casual staple, and the perfect way to start your early season wardrobe refresh.

Click here to be taken straight to them. And if you have any questions at all, just shout.

Keep well,

Sallie

Product Guru

SPOKE

I think this email is spot on. The tone of voice is casual, friendly, and a distinct one-on-one conversation compared to the usual billboard ads that drop into the old inbox. It's brief, doesn't take itself too seriously and links directly to the product (twice). The discount is automatically applied, too.

I wouldn't be surprised if this email converts well—the plain text lends itself to primary inbox placement, and the discount, although not incredibly generous, may be enough to persuade people to buy.

SPOKE aren't Primark-style discount, and they're not high-end designer, but they offer a huge range of fits and high-quality fabric, but it comes at a price. 

£160 for two shirts isn't your multi-pack Next workshirts, the staple of many an office worker, but for those willing to pay extra for good fit and quality, SPOKE are a great choice—they know their market and play to it it.

Of course, there are changes I'd make...

• "Hi, there" doesn't get things off to the best start—especially when they have my details and could personalise the greeting. In my view, the benefits of personalisation outweigh the slight conversion hit asking for first and last names would bring.

• The product description is a bit cliche—I'd have tried to inject a little more personality into it and also talk about the benefits of this soft, premium stretch cotton. No one wants to spend all day in a shirt that's a touch too tight—it wouldn't have taken that much

• Finally, I'm not a huge fan of the "Product Guru" job title...

Now I get it, I’m fussy, and I'll always be on the lookout for things to improve, yet this is a great example of an email done right—more brands should take inspiration from SPOKE!

How this 60-year old marketing principle is still devastatingly effective

Sixty years ago, not even Nostradamus could have predicted the rise of the internet and its dominance on the world of marketing.

TV commercials were just getting off the ground, and print dominated.

Despite that, a concept was born that still has a tremendous influence on modern-day marketing.

In his book, Breakthrough Advertising, first published in 1966, Eugene Schwartz introduced the Five Stages of Awareness. Even though this is a concept from the Mad Men era of marketing, the principles Schwartz wrote about are still just as applicable now.

To grossly oversimplify the topic, he states your customer will fall into one of five stages of awareness, and the secret is to reach a customer with the right message at just the right time if you are to make a sale.

And by being able to deliver a series of messages, each more detailed and persuasive than the last, an email Welcome Sequence done well can be remarkably effective.

But get it wrong, and it can be a major cause of your campaign flopping.

So what are these stages, and how can you use them?

Let’s dig in.

Unaware

Your customer doesn’t know they have a problem and haven’t heard of your brand. They are ice cold, and you’ve got a job on your hands to sell to them.

You need to start at the beginning—show them a problem that they are oblivious to, make it the most pressing concern they should have, and position your brand as the obvious solution to it.

This can be challenging to do in one go, but over time, it’s possible to guide them through your whole sales argument.

Problem Aware

This customer knows they have a problem, and it’s playing on their mind—an annoying itch they are getting obsessed with scratching. But how?

Your lead is getting warmer….

Solution Aware

They know they have a problem and have discovered how they can fix it, but by who?

Product Aware

Now we’re getting somewhere. Your lead knows they have a problem, they know they can fix it, and they now know you have a product that might just do the job.

Most Aware

The warmest of leads. Your customer is ready to buy and simply needs an offer that ticks all the boxes—a way to solve their problem at a price they’re willing to pay.

How email plays its part

Knowing this, what part does email, and specifically a Welcome sequence, play?

Unless you’re bringing a whole new product to market, it’s unlikely that you’ll be dealing with completely unaware customers (but, thanks to Kickstarter and the like, it’s not unheard of).

At this stage, you need some method of getting traffic to your site—normally achieved through paid ads.

They can be long and detailed, or short and intriguing, but when they arrive in your world, we need your landing page to get to work with simple and compelling copy.

A well-timed pop-up that delivers on and furthers their initial interest is key—a downloa or a quiz, or similar is perfect.

Trading something of value for their email address so you can continue the conversation.

Many eCom brands give a discount at this stage. While that’s effective for those who are Most Aware and ready to buy, for many customers, this is way too soon—they don’t even know what you’re offering yet.

This can go some way in explaining low conversion on your pop-up.

That being said, often the promise of a bargain is enough for them to play the long game—I’ve got your discount code saved and I’ll use it—you now have to convince me to buy (so always make sure you send it in an email so they can come back and ues it!).

It’s worth testing how different offer pop-ups perform. Thanks to the power of most email serivce providers, you can even target repeat customers with a different pop-ups than brand new cold leads, and serve them different messages—demonstrating the power of awareness perfectly.

But now, it’s the turn of your Welcome Sequence to do the heavy lifting.

Combined with retargeting ads on social and when browsing, they can be incredibly effective.

Where most brands get it wrong.

Welcome sequences should be long. The first email tends to smash it out of the park, and most brands stop there, satisifed with its performance, but you can’t expect all of your customers to be ready to buy the moment they sign up.

You need to be patient.

Look at your conversion stats. Unless you've converted 100% of your subscribers, there are still many more sales to be had by customers who are lower down the ladder of awareness.

They may be stuck languishing at problem aware, yet to be convinced that you are the solution to their problem.

The key here is to continue to engage them in conversation.

About what?

Well, your backstory, testimonials, rave customer reviews and more can all play their part in raising awareness and moving customers closer to the sale.

Deliver interesting content, valuable information, compelling offers and more, and your Welcome sequence will continue to bring in the money.

If you use a Welcome Sequence and it isn’t converting 100% of subscribers, maybe think about how the Stages of Awareness could help.

And if you need my help with that, hit Get in Touch above, and let’s chat.

The best email she's ever received?

The best email she’s ever received.

Those were the words on the message that interrupted my last-minute Christmas shopping. 

To be honest, I was glad of the distraction.

Having just fought my way along Piccadilly and into Fortnum & Mason, past the crowds of tourists and harried-looking present purchasers, and successfully grabbing the last box of Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate my Father-in-Law loves (and to replace a box of biscuits on behalf of his wife after hers had bounced down every step at Marylebone station 😖), my thoughts were quickly moving towards “I wonder if it’s too early for a cocktail.”

Which was quite apt, considering the message was from one of my clients who sells a range of premium cocktail shakers and barware.

I was intrigued.

Which of the two dozen or so emails I’d written recently had got such a glowing response?

I scrolled through the message history and saw that it was a fairly unassuming—but key—message.

A short, 5-line email from the co-owner of the brand that goes out to every customer when they buy.

The gist is, “Thank you.”

There’s a bit more than that, of course. 

I dialled up the emotion a little, reminding the customer that they’re a small brand and how much they value their customers. That sort of thing, but all genuine and heartfelt.

It seemed to hit the spot.

I wrote it as I was fed up with seeing the standard Shopify template that so many brands rely on.

You know the one.

“Thanks for your order. We’ll let you know when it ships” message, with maybe even a map of your house—I’ve yet to figure out why I need to see that. 

It serves a purpose, but it looks like what it is—a template. The same as every other brand your customer buys from.

And when you’ve spent as much time and effort to acquire customers, is that the feeling you want to leave them with? 

That you’re one of many? That they’re one of many?

Thought not.

Especially if you want them to come back and shop again.

In my view, you should put just as much effort, if not more, into retaining a customer as you do in acquiring them, or else you're ploughing all your profit into Meta and Google’s coffers, running ad after ad. 

And this doesn’t just apply to eCommerce. 

If you’re a course owner, a coach, a B2B brand, or a SaaS company, or you’re a copywriter who writes for them, do a bit of mystery shopping and dig into your post-purchase messaging and maybe show it some love.

In the case of my client, we doubled the number of repeat purchasers in six months. Not just from this email, clearly, but it was one part of a big strategic jigsaw.

It’s more than worth the effort.

And if you want similar replies from your customers, drop me a line, and let’s chat.

Brand Breakdown: Coffee Hit

This morning I got an email that made me smile.

It's from a Coffee Hit who sell coffee machines as well as coffee beans, so straight away they're in my caffeinated good books.

Coincidentally, it came in just as I was formulating a plan to start to writing email breakdowns to showcase brands that are doing a great job with their email game.

Coffee Karma!

So, that's enough preamble, let's dig in!

Subject Line

Free Express Delivery For Today Only!

As subject lines go, it's a bit Ronseal. It does exactly what it says on the tin—no harm there. It doesn't hint at the fun they have in the email itself, though.

Could they have done more with it? Sure. Subject lines are a tricky beast, and there's always another angle you could try.

Personally, I would test this against a more creative route and see if there was a noticeable difference.

Hero Section

Opening up the email, at first glance, it looks like every other eCom email—design-rich adverts prompting you to buy.

Hero Section

I love their Great Coffee, Made Simple strap line—straight to the point.

But the best thing is their discount code—ESPRESSODELIVERY.

They're having fun with it while tying it into their brand and product. It's fun, and it raises a wry smile.

Great job.

Copy

Now the fun begins!

Hello Coffee Lover,

It’s December 16th already and you should be lapping up the mince pies and mulled wine in peace. Instead, you’ve had the dreaded realisation that you’ve missed a present off your list – oh, the panic. You’re not one to leave people wanting but ordering something this close to the big day and having it wrapped and under the tree in time feels like a bit of a stretch even for you!

This is a clever way to talk to the pain points of just about anyone this close to Christmas—the panic and guilt of forgetting to buy a present—or worse, being given a present and having nothing to hand back. But they don't lay it on thick. No one wants to feel that much pressure first thing in the morning—when they're probably drinking their morning coffee!

They also throw in a couple of compliments, too— You're not one to leave people wanting and feels like a bit of a stretch, even for you!

They didn't need to include this, but added to the Coffee Lover salutation, here's a brand looking to make their customers feel good without being fawning and OTT.

And who doesn't want that?!

They follow this with a nice pivot to their offer (plus a link to their site).

But worry not, because we at Coffee Hit aren’t ones to see you suffer… For today only, we’re here to give you the gift of…

FREE EXPRESS DELIVERY

But they don't stop there—there's more fun to be had:

We haven’t all got a magic sleigh that carts us around the world to drop off our Christmas presents, so we’re giving you the next best thing.

While we can’t guarantee next-day delivery (post can have a mind of its own this time of year!) we can do our best by offering you Free Express Delivery across our website.

In a country dominated by most public services going on strike today, they set expectations that they can't guarantee and offer to do their best.

And the image of a magic sleigh carting someone around the world to drop off presents is always going to go down well.

One thing I'd be careful about here is we haven't all got and while we can't guarantee in quick succession does leave a negative spin on this section (it's subtle, but it's there). I'd suggest reordering these paragraphs or rewording them.

Maybe Now I wish we had a magic sleigh, and while we'll get it on its way ASAP, it'll be in the hands of a courier, so we can't guarantee.

This positive reframing just removes any chance of a customer being talked out of buying as they can't be sure it'll make it on time.

One other thing I'd tweak is I'd add the discount code into the URL for Coffee Hit's site.

They use Klaviyo for their ESP (most Shopify stores do, it's pretty amazing), and it's a simple line of code they add to the link text—it's not the sort of thing you know off the top of your head, but there's an easy tutorial on Klaviyo's website.

This is a great extra step you can take, so the discount is applied automatically. It's one less thing to worry about, and for hurried Christmas shoppers who may not notice a delivery charge going on their bill when they forget to add the code, it reduces the risk of customer service issues.

There are also few S's in the ESPRESSODELIVERY that’s just asking people may accidentally misspell it.

(and don’t get me started on expresso 😖)

This is quite a short email, and Paul, the owner (and presumably the writer of the email), doesn't hang around in wrapping up—hey, we're all busy, so I'm sure customers appreciate him getting to the point:

​To make the most of this one-time offer, enter code ESPRESSODELIVERY at the checkout. But remember, this is only for today, so don’t take too long in deciding what to order. The last guaranteed shipping dates for Christmas delivery is Friday 16th December (48 hour) and Monday 19th December (24 hour).

Happy shopping!

Paul Radin

Owner, Coffee Hit

There's urgency (today only), a repeat of the delivery code that can be copy-and-pasted (nicely done!), and we've got a bold deadline disclaimer for shipping.

It may have been an idea to deviate from what I presume is the standard sign-off with a Merry Christmas message, but it's a small thing.

So, what are the key takeaways?

1. Have fun with discount codes

2. Inject personality into the copy rather than an image-only advert in my inbox

3. Short, clear, and to the point

4. If you're offering a discount code, have it apply automatically to make it easier on customers so they're more likely to spend with you!

Good job, Coffee Hit!

How to Make A Sale After Black Friday

Another Black Friday is in the bag

I don’t know about you, but my inbox has been taking a battering of late.

​
With 10%! and 25%!, and sometimes even as much as 60% OFF!!! dominating.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been told that “Black Friday Has Arrived” as if I hadn’t noticed the date. It’s like telling me that the sky is blue or that if the coconut has gone, there’s been a hurricane.

Key West Weather Station

These claims aside, it’s a big time of year for eCommerce, and as an Email Strategist and Copywriter, it’s a pretty stressful time—will the campaign work? Will the sales come through? Will the URLs and discount codes all work as planned?

We all breathe a sigh of relief when we get to the day after Cyber Monday and we can regroup and prepare for Christmas, coming just a few weeks later.

So it was with some frustration that I saw a well-respected “guru” who runs a Facebook group with almost 15,000 members that offers “a community of entrepreneurs dedicated to helping each other grow, scale and reach new heights through innovation” answer the following question from a member:

​
How do you keep the sales coming after Black Friday?

Their response was:

Pause for a day or two -> sale extended -> go again. Add / remove bonuses. Extend money back guarantee.

​
🤢

I have no issue with adding and removing bonuses and extending guarantees. That’s sensible. But extending the sale? URGH.

When you’ve been inundating your customers with Sale ends soon! and Last chance to buy! offers for the last week, there’s nothing that will annoy them more than seeing a Sale Extended email.

​
It destroys all credibility and means they’ll see straight through any guarantees or deadlines or messages you try to land in the future.

And in my book, that’s going to cost you a lot more in sales than a few stragglers who didn’t buy before your Black Friday promo ended.

So how do you make a sale after Black Friday?
​

Well, the same way you make a sale at any other time of year.

​
Promote the benefit of your product and the great value buying from you represents.

​
And if you can’t make a sale at full price, well, your price is too high.

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But more than that, it’s by giving your customer a great experience with your brand.

If someone’s just bought from you, say thank you.

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(such as my favourite low-alcohol brand Quarter did recently)

An example of a great post-purchase email

This is a great opportunity to build loyalty with your new customer and make your brand stand out amongst all those default Shopify email confirmations and receipt emails.

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A personal thank you from the brand goes a long way in turning a customer into a fan—and the Holy Grail of marketing—a repeat customer.

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If you sell a range of products, why not suggest another item that compliments what they just bought?

Or maybe promote your subscribe and save option to save money and make reordering a breeze.

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Maybe give loyalty points or free delivery on a second purchase?

Or even just bask in the glow of saying thank you to another customer showing faith in what you’ve brought to market without trying to get them to open their wallet again.

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That’s how you make a sale after Black Friday.

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And if you want my help to do it, click Get In Touch at the top of the page.

On Black Friday, deadlines, and taking time out

I've just put the finishing touches on a Black Friday email campaign. 

The end of this week is my deadline, and it's been a tough old slog to get there—not the writing, or the strategy, or the ideas—they have been the fun part.

The slog is just actually getting it done. Writing the copy. Putting it into Klaviyo. Setting up the list of who to send it to—and who to exclude.

Creating the coupon codes. Writing the product URLs to automatically apply the coupon code.

The testing. 

The never-ending testing.

But it's almost done with time to spare.

But Stuart, Black Friday is a few weeks away! Does your client have a crazy-long approval process? Multiple layers of sign-off and compliance checks by well-heeled legal teams?

No.

Not this one—in fact, this client is one of the easiest clients to work with. They take my advice, love what I write, and pretty much give me free rein on strategy.

They even give me what I need from them when I ask for it.

A dream client, you might say!

No, my deadline is of my own making. 

Well—it's actually my other half's making. 

You see, he works for a US company, and as such, the work slows down for Thanksgiving, so it's easier for him to take time off.

(Perversely, as an eCom Email Strategist, just as mine takes off!)

But—the holiday is sorely needed.

It's been a bit of a tough time of late due to illness in the family, growing my business while getting into the groove of self-employment and managing competing client and personnel deadlines.

Don't get me wrong—stepping away from full-time employment remains the best (and scariest) thing I ever did. I loved my old job, and it taught me so many valuable lessons I put into practice in my business, but working for yourself is just so much fun!

Take the #BFCM campaign—over the course of eight emails, the strategy I've developed promotes five different products and some multiple times.

In the midst of that, we're also launching a new product and clearing the decks of an old line that's taking up warehouse space that's sorely needed.

Now that might sound like an absolute hard sell on the face of it, but it's actually not. 

It focuses on how to use the product we're selling. Positioning it as a great idea for a gift for Christmas, but also as a gift to yourself (because you deserve it, right?!).

And ultimately, it's a product that people enjoy using.

And who doesn't want to be reminded of having fun eight separate times?

So while I'm travelling around the Florida Keys with the laptop turned off, the emails will send out, and the results of my work will become clear.

And I'll find out when I'm back.

All jet-lagged and sunburnt.

(Maybe).

How three emails might just have cost Grammarly this customer

I’m a writer—that much should be clear. So you’d expect me to have an unshakable grasp of spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

Erm…not always.

And I probably have a better grasp than most—I know the difference between a -, an –, and an — and when to use each (and whether you put a space before or after, both or neither).

I also know when to use a semi-colon (almost never).

But I rely more often than not on the powers of Grammarly.

It’s a brilliant piece of software, and it helps me spot passive voice creeping into my writing, helps me to grapple with the best place to put a comma, and, helps me from mixing straight and curly punctuation (who knew?!).

But it has its flaws.

For some reason, the desktop editor hasn't had a blinking cursor for months (it's infuriating not knowing where you’re about to start typing).

It hates the fact that I use elipses... and has an obsession with telling me that “This” is an unclear antecedent (I had to Google what that meant).

I even take perverse pleasure in using Grammarly to check I've not made any errors in this post. Any you spot are stylistic choices, I assure you… 😉

But if my recent experience is anything to go by, they don’t place a huge value on their email experience and customer retention.

I use the Premium version of Grammarly, which carries an annual subscription price of $139.95—a price I was pretty happy to pay.

Until now, that is.

You see, without warning, they just billed my card for my annual subscription fee.

The $ exchange is killing me

I find the lack of notice sticks in the throat a little.

The brand that emails me once a week to tell me my Your word use has been 👍 and my writing is confident, can’t seem to find the will to create a decent customer experience that recognises loyalty. Pretty mixed priorities if you ask me.

Tones from my writing. Confident—I like it

And it’s a bugbear of mine.

The number of subscription brands who seem to adopt a “let's hope they forget to cancel” approach to subscription renewals rather than make their products so good that people choose to resubscribe astounds me.

Any positive revenue impact of this renewed subscription will be cancelled out with the slight sneer I’ve adopted every time I open the app and count the days down to October next year when I’ll cancel the subscription.

Or, more likely, forget and get charged again.

Let’s hope Grammarly takes my advice on board and provides a better experience.

So what could they, and every brand ( Saas, eCom, Coach, or Guru), that uses a subscription model, do to make this problem go away?

Simple.

3 emails that you set on autopilot to look after your loyal customers on your behalf.

1. Your Subscription is due to renew soon!

This is crucial if you offer an annual subscription—nobody will remember when the next payment is due to come out.

Remind them. Let your customer know how much is due to be collected and when, and how to cancel if they choose to—and make it easy.

But…but….but…what if they cancel?

Well, do what you can to avoid it. Remind your customer what they get for their money. Why they signed up in the first place.

Resell the benefits to them.

Remind them how great your service is and how they can’t do with it.

In Grammarly’s case, the fear of sending an email to your customer or boss or potential lead riddled with typos should be enough to persuade anyone to reinvest.

And if they are going to cancel, maybe ask if they can recommend you to a friend who would benefit from your service.

One in, one out. Net Zero.

Nice.

2. Your payment has been collected!

For most people, that’s all they need to know—they’ve locked in another year or month of your service.

Often, the payment could be a business expense, for which you need a receipt, so include it.

In Grammarly’s case, I got neither payment confirmation nor receipt, so I now have to go to their website. Log in. Find the receipt. Download it.

All while muttering under my breath as I go to this extra effort.

Make your customer’s life easy and think of what they need from you and provide it—before they need to ask.

3. Thank you!

This one’s a no-brainer. A genuine thank you from a named person at your company. The owner. The founder. The Customer Service person.

We all know they didn’t write it themselves, but just the appearance that the company values your business—your repeat business—is a powerful driver of loyalty.

Heck, you can even ask for a review or a testimonial if you want (although I’d save that for another email, ideally. They just paid you money, don’t ask them for anything else. Not yet, anyway).

That’s it. 3 simple emails written weeks, months, or more likely years ago all triggered to send at specific points in the customer life-cycle.

And if you need help to do this for your brand, drop me an note, and let's chat.

(I’m looking at you, Grammarly)

A New Customer—but at what cost?

With the economic turmoil brought about by BREXIT, COVID, and the war in Ukraine, belts are being tightened, wallets are being squeezed, and metaphors are being stretched by the day.

And unless your business is selling barrels of crude oil, margins are likely wafer-thin, and profits increasingly hard to come by.

So landing new and loyal customers is crucial to long-term success—and to make that even more likely, many brands turn to paid advertising and attractive welcome discounts to woo customers into their world.

This “cost of acquisition” offset by profits made on repeat purchases over the lifetime of the brand’s relationship with the customer.

But giving new customers better deals than loyal fans can be a bad look. 

So what’s the solution?

Let’s dig in.

Is a discount always welcome?

As an email strategist and a consumer, I come across brands offering “10% Welcome Discounts” and the like almost daily.

It can be a simple and effective way to convince people to make their first purchase or, at a minimum, join your email list. It’s certainly a lot more effective than “Sign up to hear our news and offers.”

For small brands, you can give your subscriber list a boost and put your revenue on an upward trajectory.

The risk is you’re subconsciously training your customer to devalue your product and only buy when there’s a discount available.

They start using burner email accounts or scouring voucher sites in the endless hunt for a bargain.

But sometimes, there’s a better way. 

Giving customers something tangible and something they value more than a quick discount can be much more effective—both at building loyalty with the brand and protecting your profit margin. And by monitoring how customers interact with your “freebie”, you get greater personalisation opportunities in the long run.

From quizzes that help you to Discover Your Skin Type or Find Your Perfect Shade, to downloadable product guides or even free samples, these alternatives to discounts give subscribers a much more compelling reason to join your list—and buy at full price—meaning your precious profits are protected.

And once they’re on your list, it’s the turn of your email automation to get to work.

Securing that all-important first purchase

Talk to any email marketer or copywriter, and they’ll tell you a Welcome sequence is one of the big three automations brands can’t do without—and for good reason. 

Through a series of emails sent over several days—or even weeks—you can introduce your latest fan to your brand, your products, your glowing customer testimonials (and more) and slowly peel away layer after layer of objection until they’re itching to buy.

And if you’re really wedded to a discount, fine, but by placing it at the end of 5, 6, or even 16 emails, you’ll likely convert many of the early buyers at full price, with the discount mopping up some of the more price-conscious consumers.

Rewarding loyalty—not bribing to buy

Now, I’m not against discounts to secure sales—far from it. As a copywriter, my job is SO much easier selling something at a discount than it is at full price.

But for me, a discount is more compelling when used as a reward and not a bribe.

Indeed, the one thing better than a new customer is an old customer who comes back for more—cost of acquisition is a thing of the past!

They know your product, they love your product, and hey, what’s that? An email offering 10% Off when you buy again? Well…how could they say no?!

And by timing your email just right based on when they’re about to run out, well, that’s almost your license to start printing money.

So you see, a Welcome Discount is nice, but a loyal customer discount is…well…pretty powerful stuff.

Is your website a lead generating machine?

If you’re looking to wow your customers with a great email experience, you need to start at the beginning.

How do your customers end up on your list in the first place?

I’m not going to waste time talking about buying subscribers or email lists—if you’re doing that, I can’t help you. This is goodbye.

Now that we’ve established you’re not some evil spam lord, let’s dig in.

Getting people to part with their email addresses is a big lesson in trust—we all get enough crap landing in our inboxes every day, so you need to earn your place. Your potential subscriber has got to know you’re the real deal.

As a copywriter and copy coach, I’ve written and reviewed hundreds of websites, and I’ve seen my fair share of great and not-so-great examples, and the big secret to getting subscribers to trust you is…

There isn’t ONE BIG SECRET.

Rather, it’s a huge number of little things that, when added up, tip the balance in your favour.

It’s important to pay attention to all these little details, though, as just one misstep is enough to break that trust and send your potential customer running—often into the warm embrace of your competition.

So, let’s take a look at some of those small steps and see what turns your website into a trust-building—and highly converting—machine.

First Impressions Count

You’ve got to make an impact.

If your site loads at a snail's pace, or your page just looks a disgrace, you’ve had it. Your visitors will write you off and bounce.

If the minute they land on your page, a full-screen pop-up scares the bejesus out of them, they’ll be clicking that big X faster than you can tell them about your views on cookies.

No, you’ve got to take your time.

Let them look around a little. Court them. Impress them.

And what’s the very first thing they’ll see?

Your headline

Does it promise a big benefit of using your product or service, or does your brand name dominate the page, taking up all that valuable real estate?

You worked hard to develop that brand—and probably paid someone a handsome sum to help you come up with it, so you’re proud and want to display it front and centre.

But it’s the equivalent of stunning designer clothes with their label scrawled across the front—a little trashy.

Let your brand speak for itself… and let your headline speak to your customer.

Tell them how you can make their lives better.

Grab their attention—don’t ramble on with self-serving, jargon-filled buzzwords.

So let’s assume you’ve made a good first impression and your customer has seen something they like on your page.

It’s now time to seal the deal and get them added to your list.

It’s time for your Pop-Up to get to work.

Pulling the trigger

There are three main pop-up triggers to choose from, and each of them is useful in its own way.

Timed pop-ups are the most common, and as their name suggests, they appear after the user has spent a certain amount of time on your page.

But how long to choose?

Fire off too quickly, and your potential customer hasn’t had a chance to look around and get to know you. Too slow, and they may leave your page before it even appears.

I’d normally suggest more around 90-120s, but this depends on what you’re selling and how complicated your product is.

The best bet is to test a few different times and see where the sweet spot lies.

Scroll-based pop-ups are the next most frequent—they are triggered when someone has scrolled down your page by a certain amount.

Of course, you need someone to actually scroll for it to appear (see headlines above), but at least you know the people who see it are pretty interested in your product.

Again, it’s best to test how much of your page you want folk to read first.

The final option is an exit-intent pop-up, which will fire when your potential customer looks like they’re about to cut and run. The mouse moves towards the X in the browser bar, and up it pops to tempt them to stay.

This is really a last-chance saloon here, so you really need to make a compelling reason to stay for it to be effective.

Once you pop…

So you’ve got your pop-up picked, but what’s the bait? What will it take to get your potential customer to part with their email?

Well, you need to exchange it for something that they will value.

“News and offers” or “Keep up to date” just won’t cut it—I mean, sure, some folk will sign up, but to really move the dial, a little reciprocity is key.

So what will it take?

The usual choice is a discount—10% or the like, but that’s not always the best option as it has a direct impact on your profit margin.

Is there a guide to using your product you can give away? Or maybe a quiz, so customers know the best product to choose.

Whatever you choose, just make sure it’s something that your customer wants that doesn’t cost your business the earth.

Second Chance Saloon

No matter how well-timed your pop-up is, many people will shut it down without reading it—and usually as they weren’t ready to commit just yet.

But once they’ve had a chance to look around, they want in on the sweet deal you were offering.

Is there another way to get in on your pop-up offer?

Most people know they just need to open up a private browser session to get back what they once had, so don’t be a d*ck about it.

Stick a footer signup at the bottom of your page.

Customers may not be wowed over by your generosity, but as I said earlier, it’s one of the many things that go towards building a great relationship with your brand.

If they have to put in the effort to get the deal you were offering, it could be one step too far.

The Power of Email

As a copywriter who specialises in email marketing, it’s not surprising that I think it is the one channel you simply can’t ignore.

Email, even in the days of GDPR, spam and inboxes groaning at the weight of inbound traffic (over 300 billion a day at the last count), is a cheap and incredibly impactful way to build a relationship with your customers.

And that’s despite the increasing privacy concerns and the release of iOS14.

And iOS15.

And 16…and probably each iteration of Apple’s platform—and where Apple lead, Android will surely follow.

(This isn’t an Apple vs Android thing, by the way, Apple tend to be a little more scrappy with privacy and the like!)

And yet, many brands write emails off as yesterday’s news with the latest and greatest social media trends and “social hacks” to get likes and follows.

With everyone losing their mind over TikTok, how many people still use Clubhouse?

With Meta’s stranglehold on paid social media advertising, how many ads have been rejected and accounts shut down because of over-zealous moderation from bots, AI and occasionally, real people?

Yet, through it all, email volume has grown, year on year, and continues to bring in billions of dollars, pounds, yen and euros at the push of a button for brands big and small. All without paying per click.

But only if done right.

So how do you make the most of email marketing?

The short answer is to hire an Email Strategist and Copywriter to do it for you (cough), and the long answer?

Well, I’ll cover over the course of a new blog series that I’ve just launched:

The Auditor: The Step-by-Step Guide to Writing Great Email

(catchy, right?!)

But we should probably take a closer look at email first.

Let’s dig in.

Email—the great survivor

Lazy marketers (who are usually selling Facebook-ad-writing-services) have pronounced the death of email for almost as long as email has been around, and yet, it remains.

So the question really is less “does email still work?” and more “why does email still work?”

In my view, it’s because it allows you to get to know your customer and how they interact with you and your brand over time and enables you to build an army of dedicated brand advocates.

Remember, if your customer is on your email list, it is because they asked to be there and want to hear from you (they did ask to be there, right? DO NOT tell me you bought your email list. NOOOOOOO! It really isn’t worth the damage it can do to your reputation in the eyes of your Email Service Provider, let alone the whole issue of CONSENT, PEOPLE!).

And if they asked to hear from you, the least you can do is to send them an email, right?

And sure, they might unsubscribe, but success isn’t measured by the number of subscribers you have but by the amount of money you make. If they don’t want to buy from you, let them unsubscribe.

No hard feelings—there are plenty of willing subscribers waiting just around the corner to fill their shoes.

If you embrace email, you can get to know your customers better—what they like, what they don’t like, and even engage in a conversation with them.

In fact, you should aim to engage in conversation with them.

Not only does this build tremendous brand loyalty, but it helps your long-term deliverability and helps to keep your emails out of the dreaded spam folder.

And someone who is engaged with your brand is much more likely to buy from your brand.

And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?!

A valuable asset for building great relationships

The beauty of email marketing is that your email list is yours. It’s a valuable asset for your business and one that you own—and put to use—whenever and however you choose.

Where Facebook can punish you for saying the wrong thing or throttle your visibility because of the latest algorithm, email gives you wonderful freedom to do and say what you want (within reason, of course).

And how your customer. interacts with your email will tell you a lot

Let’s say they’ve bought something from you—you’ve got access to their name and email address. If it’s a physical product, you’ve got their actual address too.

physic

Based on what they’ve bought, you’ve got an idea of what interests them and judging by how much they’ve spent with you, you can make a good estimate about how much disposable cash they’ve got lying around.

And it doesn’t just stop there

You can see what products they’ve browsed recently, what they added to their shopping basket and even how long they hovered over the “Buy Now” button before clicking it—or not.

You can recommend products that will complement what they’ve bought or even give recommendations on what other people like (Amazon use this social proof incredibly well…learn from them!).

You can make reasonable guesses about how much people will spend with you in future and even predict how long it will be before they come back to buy from you again.

And if they don’t come and buy again, you can take steps to bring them back into the fold.

This is just the customer behaviour you can monitor—it doesn’t even begin to take into account all the rich information you can gain by asking questions!

Quizzes and pop-ups, links and likes all give you valuable data points you can use to write even more personalised and impactful emails that drive amazing brand loyalty—if done right.

It really is fascinating!

Yet, with all this data comes a responsibility not to misuse it.

Cross the line into creepy territory, and you risk an unsubscribe.

Fail to get proper consent or fail to unsubscribe someone when asked, and you risk more—a deactivated email account and even a hefty fine.

Doing email…right

As an email strategist, I’ve read and written hundreds of emails and over the course of The Auditor blog series, I’ll share some things to look out for—and some tips of some things to do—so you can stay master your email strategy and write campaigns that will have your audience begging for more.

But if that sounds like too much like hard work, let’s chat:

I might just be able to help with that.

Are you ready to go steady?

In my last post I was regaling you with a tale of a "Business Guru" and their approach to charging the earth for every single second of their super-valuable time and how they won't give a moment's thought without an accompanying invoice.

Today, I thought I'd tell you about my...alternative approach.

Running a business is hard enough. There are SOOOO many demands on your time, your money, and even just the headspace needed to think and plan and attempt to be successful.

And that's multiplied a million times if you're trying to do all of this alone.

So if you find someone who can solve your problems, fix the problems you didn't even know you had, and suggest ideas to make your problems seem like distant memories, you're going to grab hold with both hands and not let go.

Being the shameless opportunist that I am, it's something I capitalise on whenever I can.

How?

Brace yourself.

It's really quite extraordinary.

Be easy to work with.

Shocking, right?

But I'm serious.

Of course, it's not quite as simple as that—you need to be good at what you do first. That (should) go without saying. But if you back up your great work by being a nice person, by hitting deadlines, showing up to meetings on time, offering ideas and suggestions, recommendations and opinions, even if you can't invoice for it or it leads to future work, you go from being 'a copywriter' to being 'their copywriter.'

A case in point.

My August has been manic.

I told you a few weeks ago about someone I connected with before Christmas who wanted my help with her business.

Well, we've since Zoomed a few times, and I'm midway through rewriting her website and building out an email marketing sequence that will position her business smack-bang in the middle of her perfect client's space.

In addition, another client I worked with in May got in touch last week wanting a series of blogs written to start building their SEO authority and increase organic traffic to their site.

Now I haven't done a huge amount of content writing, but I love their brand and (if I remember rightly), I suggested they think about it doing it when we spoke last.

Thirdly, I got in touch with someone I did some work for earlier in the year to see how business was now lockdown had lifted. And today, I'm putting together a quote for a new email sequence, sales page, and landing page designed to help her segment her audience and branch out into a different direction.

Now, this whole email smacks a bit of a humblebrag, and in a way, I suppose it is (😉), but when I take on a new client, I don't see it as a one-night stand one-off project.

If we're working together, you'd best start picking out hats because, honey, I'm in for the long haul.

Controversial Opinions

As a writer, I lurk in the background of many other writers' email lists. They're great to keep an eye on what the competition is up to, get inspiration, learn new techniques and skills, and generally nod along in agreement with their views and opinions.

There are even a few writers I follow who have with fairly....divisive opinions, though. I often cringe when reading their emails before filing it away, shaking my head in wonderment at their angst-fuelled rants about what's wrong in the world, the rise of 'cancel culture' 'the tide of woke' (hate that phrase).

Now I'm a pretty liberal guy, and I have fairly established and (probably 'woke' 😖) opinions on things like politics, race, LGBTQ+ rights, gender identity, religion, all the usual hot-topics that do the rounds.

Still, for the most part, I keep these to myself and ignore the thoughts of those I don't agree with.

Water off a duck's back.

If I flew into a rage every time I read a controversial view, I'd be spewing bile every time I scrolled through social media, or worse, ventured into the comments section of YouTube or the Guardian.

But, I feel like I have to talk about one particular point of view I just can't let slide.

I joined the mailing list of a writer who's constantly posting fairly strongly worded rants on LinkedIn about being a freelancer.

And they're the usual 'clients are bad,' 'freelancers have it tough,' 'join my membership and I'll teach you how to demand higher fees and qualify better leads and clients,' all the usual.

When I first came across this guy, I'd had a few potential clients vanish, never to be seen again, and I was feeling a little bruised.

I get it. People are busy. Priorities change. No biggy.

(but would it hurt to send even a brief courtesy "thanks but no thanks" email, so I'm not left hanging?! That aside...)

But this guy promised 'a new way' to qualify leads, and you'll never be ghosted again, so I signed up with a healthy dose of scepticism, prepared to hear what I'd heard a million times before.

And when I join mailing lists, I tend to reply to the first one so they don't end up in spam next time, and it's fun to see how they go about engaging with their newest fans:

Well... I wasn't expecting this...I'll let you read...

I stopped replying after that.

Other than the extremely frustrating habit of answering every question with a question, this is not something I can get on board with.

If I'm entering into a potential business partnership with someone, it massively impacts the dynamic if I charge money to even speak to someone.

And if I'm interested in hiring someone to work, with I know very little about, and they want me to pay for the privilege to see if they can solve my problems?

I'll pass, thanks!

Clearly, there is some merit in part of his idea—I need to make money, sure, and giving out free advice is not always the best route to take, but that advice can often lead to future work.

I've just signed up a new client who I first spoke to in December 2020.

I knew at the time, she didn't have any budget, but she was trying to grow her business, so I spent an hour talking through potential strategies and options she could try. What's the harm in that?

Well, she received a business development grant a few weeks ago to expand, and did she post on UpWork looking for a writer?

No.

She sent me an email.

She had money to spend, and she didn't bother speaking to any one else.

She knew I knew what I was talking about, and I had made an effort to help her even though I knew there was nothing in it for me.

We have our kick-off call next week.

It seems I'm not alone in my opinions about charging for discovery calls—I'll be chatting to the amazing Nicki Krawczyk (all-round copywriting genius and I'm happy to say, one of my mentors) about this in an upcoming Instagram Live next week.

Follow Filthy Rich Writer to hear what we have to say.

The final instalment on voice

It's time for another instalment in our mini crash course on Voice!

We've marvelled at the lyrical blows between waring lovers, empathised with heartbreak with a song packed with pathos, and now, the rhythm's gonna get ya as we take on your tempo, or in the world of writing, your cadence.

So what does it mean, this 'cadence?'

It's essentially, the rhythm of your writing. It's whether you use long and flowing prose peppered with perfect punctuation or style your sentences with Short. Sharp. Statements, and how you mix up the two to great effect.

Along with the words you use and the tone of your writing, your natural cadence is as individual as you are.

And as a copywriter looking to emulate your voice, I need to try and match that.

How?

Well, in the words of Lennon–McCartney, We Can Work It Out.

(But before we get to that, it's time for another shameless song segue...)

We Can Work It Out is a great example of what you can do when you play with tempo.

(Enjoy John Lennon pulling faces in a blatant attempt at getting Paul to crack a smile—he's slightly successful, too!)

The track seemingly slows as it goes into the middle-eight (around the 39-second mark) and then Ringo adds emphasis to the beat of each word So, I will |ask you |once |again| as they bring the song back to the original beat.

'Gotta love the Fab Four.

The actual measured tempo of the song doesn't change, but (at George Harrison's suggestion), the time signature switches from your standard four beats to the bar to a more waltz-like three beats, which has the effect of slowing down the track.

And you can speed up and slow down your writing in a similar way.

I recently wrote a piece about the birth of my niece, and I wanted to convey a sense of long, seemingly unending spells of waiting longing for news, followed by a sudden flurry of movement and a burst of excitement.

---

“I’d stare out of the window, looking down on the hospital car park, transfixed by the steady stream of cars and ambulances flowing in and out.

I read every sign and every poster on the bulletin board and noticed every detail of the barren and featureless waiting room.

All the while, my caffeine-fulled imagination ran riot, filling the information vacuum with countless scenarios, each worse than the one before.

It was like waiting for a job interview, your driving test, and speaking in public combined and multiplied a thousand times.

Until…

Hang on, is that?

It was!

There was my Mam, bouncing towards us, beaming and crying, and almost skipping every step as she made her way along the long hospital corridor.

She’s here! She’s born! Everything went perfectly. Your sister’s been amazing, yes, she’s fine, she’s fine. Tired, but fine. The baby? Oh, the baby’s gorgeous! So small! And her hair? The longest blonde hair I’ve seen on a newborn, she’s precious, she’s tiny, oh just wait ‘till you see her!

The words came tumbling out, the devoted Nana, ready to step into the role she’s been waiting to fulfil since she had her babies, 30-odd years ago. ”

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Just by adjusting the sentence length, playing around with punctuation, and adding few carefully chosen verbs, you can increase the energy of your words, keep the rhythm ticking over or slow the pace right down as required.

So how do you work out your cadence? Get your calculator out? Start counting words?

Nope!

The wonderful people at www.analyzemywriting.com have your back.

Here you can see the breakdown of my piece of writing quoted above:

The writing falls into four distinct camps, as I adjust the tempo:

• nine of my sentences have between 2 and 5 words

• one sentence has twelve words

• four sentences have between 20 and 22 words

• and three sentences have between 25 and 27 words

As most people write with approximately 13 words per sentence, you can see the impact of switching it up like this, and how it alteres the feel of the writing—this wasn't accidental.

There's more science to creativity than you realise.

So there you have it—lyrics, tone and tempo.

The three components that make up your writing voice.

And once you know your voice, you know how to change it to emulate somebody else's.

It's back to the words of the immortal Mr Williams...

Want me to do yours?

It's time to talk tone...featuring Joni Mitchell

For the last few weeks, I've been talking a lot about voice and how you can adapt your writing to mirror that of your client.

But first, a quick refresher:

As we know, your voice is made up of your:

• Vocabulary

• Tone

• Cadence

Last week I talked about Vocabulary and used the words of the iconic Fleetwood Mac to make my point (here it is if you missed it).

Now it's all about the tone of your writing and, you guessed it, it's back to Spotify!

Changing the tone in music is relatively straightforward.

You can change the key or the instrumentation, and the song changes completely and tells a whole different story.

Take Joni Mitchell, for example.

Her first outing of Both Sides Now in 1969 was light, floaty, and whimsical.

She captured the imagination of a child looking at cloud formations while a simple guitar strums away in the background

If you don't know it, take a moment and have a listen.

The song went on to be a standard and covered by many different artists (in fact, despite composing the track, Joni wasn't the first to record it).

But the song returned 33 years later in 2000, as a sultry, brooding, and dark reimagination, Joni is older, wiser, and has a full orchestra behind her.

It's a voice of experience.

It's almost unrecognisable and exploded into popular culture in 2003 as the soundtrack to Emma Thompson's heart actually breaking in Love Actually.

Gets me every time…

Getting the your tone across in your writing isn't as easy to do as dropping the key of your music, though.

How many emails or texts have you sent that are misinterpreted by the reader due to your sarcastic tone, or a joke which didn't land?

The tone of your writing is again, controlled by the words you choose.

Scroll back up and take a look at how I referred to the two different versions of the same song.

Go on, have a read...I'll give you a few minutes....

Did you see it?

Whimsical vs sultry

Light vs dark

Floaty vs brooding

Just by switching out a few adjectives, I've changed the tone of my writing completely and projected my opinions of the songs onto you.

And this is just a brief description of a 4 minute song.

In a longer piece of writing, you can vary your tone multiple times and take your reader on the emotional journey of your choosing.

Powerful stuff, these words!

So your vocabulary affects your tone, but your tone can be reinforced by your punctuation, your sentence and paragraph length, and the rhythm of your writing.

And that, my friend, is your cadence.

And I'll talk more about that next week!

A Lesson in Voice by Fleetwood Mac

Last week, I started to talk about voice and how I was doing a bit of a deep dive into the intricacies of writing in other people's voices.

(I know, I know, last week feels like forever ago, but it was the one with the Mrs Doubtfire GIF. Remember? No? Ok, it’s here if you want to refresh your memory)

Next to price, the biggest blocker to someone hiring a copywriter to work on their behalf is the fear that it will sound...wrong.

That someone else has written it and not them.

So how do you know if you're writing in your client's voice and not your own?

Well, that's where it gets a little tricky...but it's fascinating, so bear with me!

As I said last week, your voice is made up of three things - your vocabulary, your tone and your cadence.

Or (because I love music), your lyrics, your tone, and your tempo.

Let's start with the Lyrics.

In popular music, I can barely name half a dozen instrumental songs.

The words add the depth, the power and the drive to the music.

Song lyrics can cut you down and stop you in your tracks or lift you up and fill you full of confidence.

Sure there are some terrible lyrics out there (this being a prime example), but a lyricist has an awesome weapon at their disposal.

Take my all-time favourite band, Fleetwood Mac, as an example.

During the recording of their iconic 1977 Rumours album, Christine and John McVie (of Mac fame) were getting a divorce.

At the same time, Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham were breaking up, too.

This angst and emotion fuelled some of the best songs they've ever recorded, but there are some not so subtle blows being traded when you look at the lyrics.

Take Buckingham's Go Your Own Way, for example:

Loving you
Isn't the right thing to do
How can I ever change things
That I feel

and

Tell me why
Everything turned around
Packing up
Shacking up is all you want to do

Clearly a thinly-veiled swipe at his ex, Stevie.

Not to be outdone, she countered with Dreams:

Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom

Well, who am I to keep you down?
It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it

But listen carefully
To the sound of your loneliness

Brutal.

So the words you use are important, sure, but how do you know if you're using the right ones?

Well, that will always depend on the topic at hand, but in general, you need to make sure you're writing at the correct level (which you can measure using the great Hemingway app).

This email, for example, is written at a 7th Grade level, which is higher than I normally write, but I've got words like cadence and vocabulary skewing things).

Do you want to write using simple and straightforward words or long and complicated?

Passive voice is a great way to soften your message, or you can write in the active voice for a more direct, action-orientated message.

Adding in hedge words, such as just, like, maybe or filling your writing with adverbs such as quickly, simply, bravely will soften your impact but could make you sound vague and unsure.

Where you're from can make a huge impact, too.

I'm originally from Newcastle, and the Geordie slang and dialect is a million miles apart from that of London, where I now call home (well, Surrey, but close enough).

So when I'm writing for other people or even a brand, be it an email or a blog, a social post or a website, I need to make sure I use my client's vocabulary and style and not my own.

Or else it just sounds...well, wrong.

I'll be back next week to talk tone!

I do voices...

What was your favourite film as a child?

Mine was Mrs Doubtfire.

I'd watch it so much I could real off almost the entire film verbatim. I almost wore out the VHS.

I watched a few YouTube clips as I was writing this blog post, and I could still pretty much recite them word for word.

Watching Robin Williams become so many different characters when he searched for the perfect alter-ego showed off his comic skill and acting chops so much better than any showreel.

I do voices…

The best copy is indistinguishable from your client’s voice.

It should sound as if they wrote it themselves.

So how on earth do you begin to embody someone else’s voice in your writing?

Well, it all comes down to three things.

Your vocabulary—Simple and straightforward, or complex and convoluted?

Your tone of voice—exiting and casual, or formal and informative?

Your cadence—short and punchy, or flowing and descriptive?

Your writing voice is as distinctive as your accent and individual as your fingerprint, and in the next few weeks, I’ll be adding voice guides to the services I’ll be offering to clients.

I can’t wait to ‘do voices’ even more!